Hey! Dudes from my good old home town. I was pretty certain that this was going to fucking blow when I saw that this release is also available in a remix version, which just made me laugh hysterically at the notion that anyone would ever fucking listen to a local band's remix album. It's just so fucking naive, that I almost felt sorry when I saw it, but instead I just cackled maniacally and rolled up my sleeves, ready to dig in and tear this band to pieces.
The Matt Skiba side project, Heavens, is what I thought about when I heard the first track, but these guys have black belts in being boring or something, because they totally excel at it.
Lead lines, boring, lyrics, just sparse and devoid of content in a way that makes me wish I was listening to A Perfect Circle or something fucking stupid like that, drums, if they aren't electronic, are ok, but the whole thing is just a fucking snooze fest. They should give away a free sleeping bag with every download, or start trying to push this album as an off label treatment for insomnia. In fact, they should have named the band Valium, which would have at least made it seem like it was their intent to induce drowsiness.
Though some interesting things happen in terms of instrumentation, especially in the second song, which has a really nice bridge and some really cool guitar work, the choice was made to avoid straying from the two chords the were being played at the beginning of the song, which makes the dudes look even worse, because not only is their release boring, but they might be too fucking stupid to realize that you just can't play the same fucking chords over and over again and not piss the listener off, or make him just dismiss the entire project, snap the cd in half, and never look back.
Blacktop Cadence comes to mind often, but only in a "this is like if blacktop cadence was terrible" sort of way.
It is interesting at points, dull at others, and just not that great, pretty much the whole time. I am underwhelmed to an unprecedented degree.
I can't even imagine how bad the fucking remix album is. Do these guys stare into the mirror while they masturbate, or isn't that just the most hilariously self-absorbed and arrogant thing that could be done? I'm a little bit appalled.
Here you go. Right here.
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