Earth Bound

Earthbound is a pretty good Strike Anywhere song. Earth Bound is a pretty bad high school metal band. See the difference. I did not. I was under the impression that someone wanted me to review Earthbound by Strike Anywhere (It's fast, tough, and one of the best songs on To Live In Discontent 4/5). I listened to their first song and it sucked then i decided to listen to Strike Anywhere. I can already tell you that Strike Anywhere is really good. Fuck, I mean Earthbound sucks.

First off, the guy that sent us the e-mail was very nice. He said he was having trouble getting his stuff reviewed and I can see why. Earth Bound has four songs on their Facebook page and about one hundred more likes than my band which is incredibly depressing. Have you guys looked at that yet? Click on my (Dylan) picture and go listen to my band. It is without a doubt better than anything reviewed on this blog. You can go ahead and tell me how awesome it is if you so wish.

Ok, Earth bound's songs are extremely long. Facebook's music player doesn't say how long but they feel like an eternity. They all have stupid names and in the corner of the player there is a series of metally pictures. Black and red ominous spirals, Robots, Dragons; you get the point. From what i have gathered there is two singers, or a guy that can change his voice pretty well. They have synth and guitar effects at parts and that is really, really terrible. The bass player is there to hit strictly low notes. He makes boom. The drummer is ok. I heard nothing good nor bad come from him.

This is any metal band that have you seen at a high school battle of the bands. Extremely long songs, showing that they can not distinguish between anything that sounds good or bad. Synth that plays a lot of garbage and should just not be in the band at all. He is probably a dick anyway. Anyone I know who plays synth kind of sucks.

The first song on their Facebook is called Volvagia. For those who are confused. Volvagia is not something women use to clean out their vagina's. It is actually Spanish for "Captain of the Heart." The song starts alright. The guys are shredding. There is a cool guitar line and its not bad. The guy screaming is doing a pretty good job. It is almost surprisingly good hardcore. I doubt they were trying for it, but it is not that bad. A little bit of the second song, Dark Falz, which is Spanish for "Pop Tarts," sounds like an adolescents song but with a really shitty lead line over it. They have lots of guitar effects and slow dragged out "jams". The last song "D ert," which is French for "The jacket," is a 528 minute instrumental bass and synth jam.

I can not tell if it was better or worse than the other songs. On one hand i could ignore it pretty easily. On the other hand when I did listen to it was just god awful.

Earthbound by Strike Anywhere 4/5

Earth bound that band on Facebook 1/5

The guy also said that they were getting ready to record their e.p. which has more of a prog/post-rock feel. I am really excited to here that. The only genre i like more that post-rock is actually prog/post-rock

Waterparks

Hello many readers we have accumulated over the many years of blog-tastic music reviews. Today we will be focusing on the rock super-group Waterparks. As one can imagine this is arguably the funnest post we have ever done. Fact: nothing is funner than a water park. Duh.

I am glad the band Waterparks decided to email us two whole times therefore catching my attention. They only have one song and that is a crime. Waterparks is by far the best band to come under our radar here at Music reviews by Sam.

The only track they have "Silver," is not so much silver and more so gold. The singer has a really awesome nasily style of vocals and he just lets them flail throughout the whole song. Sometimes he lets out a kick ass scream at the end of a verse that shreds. The guitar has got some real cool effects at times and that is really sweet. The drummer is just a fucking machine. There is one of the coolest keyboard bridges the world has ever seen. The song is the catchiest song I have heard in so long.

The lyrics to this song are really impressive. The song just has a mega-chorus, "I'll be the silver lining around your fence. Used to protect yourself from all the world. And it's sharp teeth because my open hand and heart think you belong." They also use the word "fighting" not once, not twice, not three times, not four times,.... Yes you guessed it 20 times!!!

Imagine the baby of every awesome pop punk band. Waterparks should be headlining that Pop Punk's Not Dead Tour. Like a bad ass Motion City Soundtrack mixed with The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus' good stuff.

Just kidding Waterparks sucked balls 1/5. Keep em coming.

Laughing Gas

Laughing Gas

Hi Guyz!!! IM DYLAN and Im like guNna be writtin for di$ blog k!!!!!!!

As my first review for the kind people at Reviews by Sam I was just thrilled. Right off the bat Laughing Gas had a lot going for me. I like the band name and the album title. “Trapped In a Shark Tank”. Not too bad.

The first song starts really awesome; cool sample, driving guitar and drums, some cool riffage on top of that. I was like oh man, reviewing albums people make is going to be the shit. Then the vocals came in… Oh they came in. There was something incredibly, I don’t know, whispery I believe is what I am looking for. Kind of ruined the whole band for me. But it was just not the vocals; the song in no way shape or form deserves almost 4 minutes. The music behind the singer is slightly catchy, well recorded, and kind of talented. Everyone is more than capable of playing their instrument, so that’s good.

Overall the lyrics suck balls. You can listen to any song on the album and find something worth ridiculing. “I Hate Myself” as a whole is excellent proof of that. “I hate you until the day you die, I fucking hate you until the day you die” Good one guys.

The second song on the album “Henry” is extremely confusing to me. What happened to the band that was making generic boring music? This song reminds me a lot of Dead to Me, or maybe The Flatliners at slow parts. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but the Red Hot Chili Peppers use that exact same guitar riff on one of their songs that I don’t feel like looking up right now. Cause then I would have to listen to the Red Hot Chili Peppers. But as a whole the song is kind of cool.

I’d compare it to some other bands but just imagine any pop bank you have ever seen open for a good punk band. That is Laughing Gas. I guess the name is true. This album put me to sleep faster than Laughing Gas. The whisper choir boy style of the vocals really did not help me pay attention to this album. If the songs were cut in half, that would be way better. But they are not. Therefore forcing me to listen to a lot more un-original instrumental parts I really didn’t want to listen to. Seeing that “Wasteland” was over five minutes I refused to listen to it. I doubt I missed much.

2/5 Just because there are way worse bands out there. Extremely average. So many better things I could have done than listened to this. Like watch Lets Make a Deal. Now that’s entertainment, unlike Laughing Gas.

P.S. sorry there were not more dick jokes. I am still new here and working my way up to talking about eating assholes.

Additional thoughts from Sam:

I think D-Money really nailed this one, but I want to point one thing I noticed out, which was that the bass player does a whole lot for this band, not just in terms of adding something interesting to the sound, but also in making sure that the album has an abundance of Andriano-esque dick-waiving runs, which are fun.